God's Natural Birth Control

It NEVER FAILS. As soon as we start to consider adoption again, fertility treatments, fostering/hosting, the kids start going WILD. My teen beefs up the disrespect, selfishness, laziness, my little one throws the craziest temper tantrums and constant hyperactivity, and I lose all the wind in my sail. I doubt my mothering abilities and mostly my patience. Although I've had up to six high needs children in my care at one time, I rest in the fact that only two will stay...it's only temporary. I've got to wonder...is this God's way of providing natural birth control? Or Satan's way of scaring us into not taking steps forward in life?

Still, we're moving right along. The documents for giving and receiving the precious embryos are all signed. Let me just say...there are some powerful emotions involved with officially receiving a gift of this magnitude while grieving the loss of the life they were intended to have. *Thankfully* I've got the worries of sweet Julia in Ukraine with impending war with Russia in her backyard to distract me. :/ I don't think my blood pressure and the pain in my shoulders/neck will ever return to normal.

I've been dreading the next step in the process of embryo adoption. It's a medical procedure that's been moved up to tomorrow morning (Sunday! I know...strange, right?). It's just standard prep work, but I'm terribly nervous. I dislike going to the doctor at all, but driving two hours to a building i don't know and letting a stranger put me to sleep by injecting chemicals into my blood stream FREAKS ME OUT.

Pray for us please! That we'll have no surprise bad news, that everything is on track, and for calm nerves.