Here We Go Again!!!

I'm not sure if I'll keep updates like last summer, but I VERY MUCH need prayers over our next procedure. The more this door of opportunity opens, the more terrified and stressed I become. I fear having hope. I fear vulnerability. You may notice I tear up very easily these days and wondered why I'm a crazy person. Or maybe you just thought....that's just Renee...she's ALWAYS emotional. HAHA! You'd be right on both! ;)

Tonight I took my first of many injections.  I'm not sure how many embryos we'll have to work with since we're having them made up from scratch this time around. ;)

Important milestones to pray for...
March 24- an important preparation procedure
March 28- egg retrieval
April 2- embryo transfer
April 15- pregnancy test

ANSWERS!!!

The extreme dizziness, nausea, and terrible constant headaches have only gotten worse and I was pretty worried. When I couldn't reach the endocrinologist, I made an appointment with my fertility doctor.

He was shocked by the labs! My thyroid levels were fine at my last test two months ago and now are dangerously high. It's caused my heart to work really hard which caused my blood pressure to go way up to 157/101. He lowered my prescriptions and I'll be seen in a month.

On a fertility related update, I started using ovulation predictor kits at the doctor's request to see if my ovaries have started working again (you might remember they were showing to be *dead*). This kit thing it awesome! In perfect time with *normal people*, the kit is showing the increasing hormone released by the ovaries! That means... They are working! I very likely did NOT lose any eggs and have plenty left like other women my age... Actually a few years YOUNGER since they've been basically frozen in time for the last three years. ;)

I've had this problem in my cycle of a very short luteal phase (the time between ovulation and the 1st day of the next cycle). Mine is 4 -7 days while normal is 12-14 days. This is a huge fertility issue because those extra days is when a fertilized egg makes its way into the uterus (HAH! That word auto corrected to iris. Heehee!) and snuggles in. Without this timeline, the embryo is just quickly expelled with the next cycle. Without much hope, I asked the doctor today if there was some magical medicine to make this time a normal length. All the specialists over the last 11yrs said no. This doc said, "yes! Of course! It's just a simple progesterone pill. It'll make your cycle a normal length." SERIOUSLY?!?!? We've been infertile for over 11 years and now I learn there is a CURE for my side of things?!? SOOOOO....our chances of having a naturally conceived baby just jumped from .001% to about 5%. Hah! Hey! That's a number I can live with!

We're still weighing our options with fertility treatments and have decided to wait a month or two before moving forward again.

How Long?

The pain has subsided after a week, but I'm left with extreme fatigue, dizziness, headaches. I feel like the life has been drained right out of me. I have no energy to even sit up. I sure hope this doesn't last long. :'(

I've had several emails asking how I'm doing so I thought I'd talk a little about that..... Especially since there is nothing else to report. ;)

We knew going in that this procedure was a total gamble. There are no certainties at all and no rhyme or reason for it working or not working. We feel extremely grateful for the chance we've had. The entire process was easy (well... Compared to adoption) and very interesting to us. We had VERY nice genetic parents who jumped through every hoop we threw at them and the mom was incredibly supportive and encouraging the entire time. She was such a great support!

Although we are still without a baby, we both feel very encouraged and blessed by some of the things we were able to learn along the way. SO many fears were eased by this process.

* Will it feel strange to carry another couple's genetic child? NO! FELT AMAZING and we instantly fell in love with these microscopic babies!
* Will my body have serious side affects from the medications causing us to have to stop? Nope! YAAAAY!
* Will the medication work on me? Yes! My body followed all the rules!
* Will my body reject the embryos as an invader? Some of you may remember that I randomly contracted HEP C (in NONE of the usual ways) while in Ethiopia and never knew I had it until a routine screening for adoption later. Although it's incurable and deadly my body rejected it so hard that it killed the illness and completely cured me. I'm so grateful for this!!! But we were worried that my body would fight the embryos. Not only did it not fight, it embraced them.
* Is it possible to become pregnant? Although I have no reason to believe that I can't become pregnant (our situation is male factor infertility), I was so VERY pleased and completely surprised that I became pregnant. Even though it was only a little more than a week, it was enough satisfaction for me to relax in knowing that this is possible. For now.... That's enough.

So.... Were doing great! Disappointed, but hopeful for the future and grateful for these awesome opportunities! I HIGHLY recommend this path to other couples! I'd do it again in a heartbeat!

Healing Power of Blankies

I'm in a terrible amount of pain with the same intensity as kidney stones and that's AFTER drugs. Trying not to vomit or faint from the pain. But it should all be well soon..... Because Elijah rubbed his blankie on it. ;)

Hibernation

As it turns out, the four positive home pregnancy tests followed by a negative blood test was a miscarriage. The doc said I should start a new cycle a day or two after stopping the meds, but my body must be pretty empathetic because it's been a week and it refuses to let go of these little guys. We've been a bit worried and did some searching around. Did you know that embryos can HIBERNATE (especially when mom is stressed) and implant days to several WEEKS later?! We read stories in medical journals and were shocked enough to take another test. Still negative. Hah! Hey.... You never know, right? ;)

***update several hours later***
The all too familiar pain is now taking over my entire body. Heaven help me!

Hmmmm..... THAT'S interesting

I went back to the doc to discuss my vanished eggs. Tests showed that my ovaries were showing themselves like that of an old woman. Basically.... They just stopped maturing any more eggs. Usually, that happens with menopause or parathyroid issues, etc. but my tests showed negative on all possible causes. The doctor is stumped. He's never seen anything like this before. I asked if it could possibly be the birth control pills that I've taken for several years without breaks. Like.... If you don't use it, you lose it. He hasn't heard of anything like that, but I wasn't convinced.

I went home and a quick Google search brought me this article.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/birth-control-pills-make-eggs-look-old-but-they-do-not-affect-a-womans-fertility/2014/07/07/792a94b2-01fb-11e4-b8ff-89afd3fad6bd_story.html

Basically, it says that studies are now showing that higher doses of bcpills (which I've taken for years) are suspending egg maturation. They simply hibernate. It says the bloodwork will reveal the ovaries to be that of an old woman, but in reality they are well and perfectly healthy. The article says that if the meds are stopped, all returns to normal in a few months!!!

It makes sense that my doc has not dealt with this before. How many couples wanting a baby and seeking help are on birth control???

Anyway..... the door to more options just cracked open a bit. ;) Don't worry, I'm not going to drag y'all down more rabbit holes. I'll keep further adventures to myself and spare you the unnecessary stress. ;)

We're feeling fine, not discouraged, just a little dizzy and exhausted from coming off these hormones all at once.